On breakups and telling your girl friends (not girlfriend) that you’ve dated chicks

3 Apr

My aunt, who happens to be one of my best friends, spent ALL– literally ALL of lunch telling me how stressed she was. As she carefully nit-picked the rice out of her chicken tortilla soup (she is cutting down on carbs) and simultaneously added fried tortilla to her soup– my heart fluttered faster and faster. As she blabbed on and on and on about kids and Sam’s club and how hard it is to shower all the people, (bless her heart) my heart slowed as I realized today really couldn’t be the day I told her about the past 2-3 years of my life (well let’s be honest 8 years… there had been my unlikely friendship and attachment to the very angsty and firey Christie* as well as that confusing but friendly kiss by Andrea* freshman year…)

How could it be if my dear auntie aunt isn’t going to ask “How are you?”

Then I could reply “Well, dear auntie aunt. Trying to follow the rules of this post (particularly items 2, 8, 9, and 11 of when it’s not OK) and it is killing me, and I kind of hate my life right now because I ended things with someone I really cared for because life is too confusing for me to make a decision, and indecision IS decision. Oh beeteedubs I think girlz are cute and I heart everyoneisgay.com and someday I may adopt a little baby girl with a lesbian lover and have a spiritually meaningful and intellectually fulfilling life of happiness if the fam could just get on board.” Pause. “And how are you?”

Telling my girl friends about my girlfriends has been kinda awkward. Mostly because I have not really been attracted to any of my girl friends with one exception, and I don’t want them scanning through our collective memory to like pick out a time when I was coming on to them or something. Because I wasn’t. I want them to think of me as the same and platonic and me thinking of them as platonic if that makes sense. I don’t want them to second guess the time we spent watching movies in a twin bed, or my overly drunk and touchy self insisting that “people are just so beautiful, aren’t they?” and reading into it too much. Sigh. Any similar experiences with your friends of the same sex/gender?

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*names changed to protect MY privacy 🙂

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