Archive | May, 2013

UPDATE ON TASKS

25 May

Applying to Medical School:

Yeah, no. I like writing and art and my time and not owing anyone $200,000. Plan B.

(What is Plan B? That is a damn good question. Methinks probably being founder of a socially-responsible sustainable NGO to help women rule the world. No for real though….)

Losing 50 pounds

Gained three pounds. Job searching be stressful, yo. But really um I may or may not have made homemade chicken gorgonzola pizza with artichoke hearts and carmalized onions topped on a honey crust. Washed down with chocolate chip pumpkin muffins, diet coke, and shame. *BUT* I did work out for an hour with my superfly/buff sister (side note: mean great aunt once told me “It must be hard to have such a pretty sister. Ho.) But no really, she’s the pretty one. BUT I like to read, so meh we’re even.

Openly Discussing Sexuality:

a) I have a blog.

b) The pretty sister knows and still loves me. We still fight over hair ties now that mine is getting longer.

c) I have confrontational discussion with parents but no coming out moment with anyone in my family except my sister.

d) My BFFs ask me about my love life (lack there of)… But that is another post, no?

e) I still don’t love any of the letters in the LGBTQ sequence soooo demerit?

Thoughts?

Binary Differences

25 May

Dating boys: 

Option A: don’t like you, don’t like you, you like me, okay I kind of like you, dating!

Option B: eh, you’re okay eh, you’re okay eh … you helped a small child buy a new ice cream, DEAR ME OH MY YOU ARE SO FUNNY AND PERFECT AND NICE AND PROBABLY MY LOVE OF LIFE

Option C: We’re hanging out? Uh… okay.. I mean is that dating? Like do you “like like me or just like me?” 

Option D: Shit you have a girlfriend. I am now obsessed.

 

Dating girls:

Option A: Wow, you are pretty and funny and nice. Wow, you are so smart. Wow, we should hang out and be best friends forever. Slash make out. And watch chick flicks after we get pedicures, cook dinner together, and have fulfilling conversations. Then cuddle. 

Discouraged

20 May

How to make someone feel small:

My mother. God, how Freudian.

“Eww,” she says, her face scrunching up. Two women are kissing on the screen. “That’s disgusting.” She says.

“Mom, stop. That offends me.” I say. “It’s disrespectful.”

That offends me.” She says.

I am getting angry and upset and annoyed. Not a good feeling when you are sitting next to someone in a movie theater. I have been trying to take different things she has said to mean she would be supportive, and try and understand if I told her I was bi. Like, she DOES like modern family, and she thinks Mitch is funny. But then this happens, and I am discouraged, and I mumble something about “Just because something makes you uncomfortable does not mean it’s disgusting” and she says “Two girls kissing is disgusting” and I am mad the rest of the night but she doesn’t really know why. 

There is smalltasks ranting again about things, she thinks. And asks for a ride to work, and whether I want popcorn– and I want to say no to both, but only politely decline the second and set my alarm for 7:45 am.

Having a “type” plus Life Crush List

11 May

Do I have a type? In an effort to find out, I have been in my mind categorizing people I’ve had feelings for. Ever. Dated/Crushed on/ Smiled at. Hmmm I decided to do a list of alllll the people I’ve ever had even a smidgen of feelings for in my life. Let’s see if I can remember.

Kindergarten. Claire. Female. Blonde. Had a make-a-wish doll that I thought would grant me toads to put in my window well terrarium. We kissed in a closet.

2nd grade. John. Brownish red hair, glasses. Brought me a stone from his vacation. I was taller than him. We held hands. He liked to read. I liked to read. Animorphs. Had a cool piggy bank.

3rd grade. Guy. Moved to China. Was handsome. Bought me an eraser shaped like a dollar and was on the Peer Counseling Team. Also taller than me.

4th grade. Brett. Red hair. We played basketball. I was good at it, and he had a trampoline.

6th grade. EC. Artsy, asian. Good at spelling. Made me an aluminum foil peacock and I made him a stingray. Jane made fun of me for sitting next to him on the bus. I made up a language that looked something like Arabic and teased him with it. Now he’s a banker.

7th grade. JF. Male. Was tall.

8th grade. JS. Male. Was tall.

9th grade. DM. Male. Was tall. Blue eyes.

9th, 10th, 11th, 12th, freshman year: TH. Male. Youth group leader. Inappropriate. But tall, funny, kind.

Brief period during 12th grade: TW. Male. Tall. Gay.

Freshman: ME. Female. Roommate. Bisexual, intensely intense. Got her eyebrow pierced, and I got jealous when she slept with a stranger. Bought her a book based on a movie she liked for Christmas.

Basketball boy. Thought he was cute until he gave me a rose. Then I flipped out and decided NOT to like him. AT ALL.

Sophomore: JT. Male. Atheist, smart, funny. Wildly unlikely dating pairing.

Junior: Janet. Female. Angsty, redhead. Cried a lot when she didn’t want to talk to me since I was “the man” eg residence life. Gave me the book Franny and Zooey, and we talked about London often.

Senior: JT Male (aforementioned).

Gap year: EW. Male. Happy. Younger than me. Didn’t last very long.

Grad1: DC. Male. Very attractive, but stiff.

JJ. Male. Soulmate, but had/s girlfriend.

Grad2: SM. Curly brown hair. Flakey. Easy-going, but passionate. Beautiful smile. Likes music. Likes to read.

2012: KP. Smart, pretty. Funny. Easy to talk to. Likes to read. Hard to transition to friendship.

Basically, I feel like tall, blue eyes, and curly hair  may be my type after all. And definitely funny. And  likes to read.

What is your “type”?