I’d like to be skinny. Shocking, no?As a woman in her mid-twenties in America, it is not shocking.
It is however to me:
- Mildly distasteful and self-indulgent
- Admitting I want something different with my body than what it is now which makes me feel weak somehow, or not confident. Which is bizarre, since shouldn’t making changes make you more confident?
- Something I want, but fairly low on the list compared to my other wants. e.g. good pizza. And chocolate. And coffee-like drink beverages with creamy sounding names.
So– mmm what to do, what to do. I have a pretty bad old injury that stops me from being “super athlete”. But then the real pain of that injury means my brain does this thing where it says, “Op! No lunges for you… guess you should probably just go sit on the couch for 2 hours instead of, oh I don’t know, MOVE YOURSELF AROUND A BIT.” Also there is that previously mentioned chocolate enjoyment situation. And not “enjoy” like the slowly unwrap and savor a single dark chocolate with antioxidants and a happy heartwarming message while laughing and moving my hair and stuff. Enjoy like NOMNOMNOM that was a good cookie maybe I should eat 3 more in 2 seconds. Crumbs.
Couple that with the revelation I made when I was 16 that the rest of the world is too damn self-absorbed to care about the fact that your jeans are just a little tighter than you might love, and I have this weird sort of love/hate apathy thing going on with the idea of fitness.
But man, I want to trek the world and so forth, so I guess I have to find me some motivation. Gotta lose me 50 pounds kids. Any ideas?
SmallTasks 